Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
