Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
