big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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