I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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