i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
