I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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