Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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