I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
