i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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