I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
