At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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