found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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