i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
