her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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