Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
