dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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