Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
