mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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