Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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