Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
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Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't turn off my feet"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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