I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
