arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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