Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
