I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
