dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
