I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
