yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
