Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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