hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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