i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize