No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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