In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
