You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
