Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
