You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
