I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
