I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it because I queefed?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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