I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
