Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
