DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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