Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
