found the other keg... it's in the tree
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
