I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
