once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
