well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish you could order shots online.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
