felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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