Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
