i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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