I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
