With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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