Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
