im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
