Already got asked if we're dating
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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