Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
