with your own penis?
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize