You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
