omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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