Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
